General Disclaimer:
What I intend to do here now is some ‘sharing’ of my own. I am going to list the details of my own experience in my community which I admit would all be considered to be ‘hearsay’ in a court of law. Nevertheless, this is where all my information comes from even though the entire event, and all the participation of those ‘others’ who can never be blamed for anything, is denied to exist and has been proclaimed by ‘experts’ to be nothing but my ‘paranoid delusions and hallucinated conversations.’
This is the stuff of which psychiatric labels are made. I believe that the only way we are ever going to stop this all controlling juggernaut, erroneously named the mental ‘health’ system, is by making it so very personal, and so detailed that no one involving him, or hersel,f in this is ever going to be able to sustain the delusional denial that this psychosocial reality is what it IS. This is really a mental ‘illness’ system and that is what is being promoted; illness, not ‘health.’ ,
So I will repeat here everything I have heard, including all the names and identities of those whom I did not know before, but who I have since managed to identify as some of the ‘players’ in this event. They were the ‘strangers’ I ‘believed’ were talking about me.
So this is all stated here with this disclaimer in place. I ‘admit’ that I cannot separate the truth from the lies, the fabrications from the realities, the partial truths from the whole truths in this. In fact, that is what I ‘admitted’ long BEFORE the stress of this public attack caused my breakdown into psychosis. None of this can be proved by me (with the exception of a few pieces of concrete evidence) one way or the other without a real investigation that would make it more likely to be able to prove or disprove the conflicting details. I have not been able to get that done. When you read my story, it will not be hard to understand WHY that has been refused. As was stated publicly, ‘they’, ‘do not want to open a can of worms.’
So stating very clearly here that any or all of the details listed here have neither been proved nor disproved, everything you read in each of these posts is currently ‘alleged’ by me to have been acted out in my presence by the population of this city focused on me as the target of public abuse, assessment, and psychiatric evaluation. It has almost all been performed with NO direct communication, or an admission of any involvement, by anyone. Not one person has discussed directly with me, what they know, or what they believe they know, or knew, about what happened here.
That is because the reality being promoted by those who planned it in the first place, as suggested by one person, is that ‘nothing happened.’ It does not take an Einstein to realize why that is the ‘reality’ of choice by those who have the concrete power to define it that way and to define ME as delusional for telling the truth they do not want to become ‘known.’ That idea is, in itself, absurd. Yet in the surreal world of the psychiatric version of reality, this absurdity is enabled and supported by those who ‘don’t want to open this can of worms.’
oncped.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, August 1, 2008
Patricia's Razor...Cutting Through the Crap
This blog is what is ALLEGED to have occurred regarding my own fascinating case, as it has been acted out for me by the public and by Homewood staff as well as many other segments of the overly involved society around me. You will note that it is full of contradictions, vague abstractions, opinions and judgements and multiple versions of the same supposed "reality." Under the circumstances, this should have been expected, and COULD have been predicted, if everyone had known what was really going on and who had created this little so called 'game' in the first place. The difference in perception lies at the start of the 'game'. What anyone believes is really going on depends upon what is understood as the premise to which those beliefs are attached. I, myself, was able to predict the outcome, once I became aware of what my protagonist was actually doing, ho he had done it, and that he had targeted me as the "victim." Of course, I don' have to explain that to him as he had already sen and understood the power of that when he had been 'trained' in the game himself.
So, based on what I know NOW, and my own experience and understanding of game boy's power, I now understand which versions of the rumours acted out for me are more likely to be true. Still, a concrete investigation would be necessary to actually prove it beyond all doubt. As we all know, it does no matter what anyone WANTS to believe,
"Proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Paul Simon
I admit this is partly speculation based on partial knowledge, my own experience in it and theory. Want to solve this?
Stop suppressing my knowledge, evidence and understanding and start digging the truth out of that "hole" my adversary dug in an attempt to hide it and which the rest of you helped him to bury.
I will now put the puzzle together for you, blow by blow, in pedantic detail, all based upon everything that has been acted out for me by the people involved. I will match my concrete experience of my adversary, his co-workers, the Homewood staff, and the community acting out with the abstract ‘’play’’ or pattern which I ‘’think’’ I seeing the concepts of M.A.'s “secret’’ training about “domination.” Hopefully, you will finally be able to comprehend the “Zen-like cuteness” as it was defined by the professor who did the analysis in the book I read in 99. If not, of course, I can just keep pounding away at the bloody obvious until you either get it or we all suck our last breath still "mystified" by It.!
Keep in mind that even though I got all my information from the acting out, not one person has ever admitted they did anything therefore, the entire event has been denied. My complaints of it have been suppressed; including concrete evidence and my perception of it has been invalidated and redefined as a serious, incurable, mental illness.
I do not consider my own case to be unusual, a mistaken diagnosis, (Whoops! The psychiatrist goofed!) or exceptional; quite the contrary. I think this pattern (She “thinks” she sees a pattern) of domination, control, denial, invalidation, and group pressure has become a sick society’s “norm.” When something becomes “normal” by group consensus and then gets validated by “experts” AS normal, it is then those who oppose the group insanity who become “abnormal.”
So here, I will discuss the thinking and behaviours of the “normal” people, form my supposedly “abnormal” perspective.
What a fantastic switch this is huh? The alternate reality of me and M.A., which has been created by the group at his direction, is the “fantasy” demonstrated in the training itself. That was the point of the exercise which showed you the difference between concrete reality and the one you fantasized in your own heads. It grew from your “opinions” solicited by M.A. for the purpose of turning the opinions of a group, based on his vague abstractions and split reality, into MY new reality constructed by the combination of group consensus and authority. That is part of the demo of his training. I will take this one little step at a time for you and name the people who co-operated with this reconstruction. After all, I recognize that if I do not explain this to all of you in excruciating detail connecting all the dots, the chances you will ever really “get it” (understand it in the abstract) rather than ‘get it” (the destructive concrete results to all who do not understand) will be very slim.
So, based on what I know NOW, and my own experience and understanding of game boy's power, I now understand which versions of the rumours acted out for me are more likely to be true. Still, a concrete investigation would be necessary to actually prove it beyond all doubt. As we all know, it does no matter what anyone WANTS to believe,
"Proof is the bottom line for everyone."
Paul Simon
I admit this is partly speculation based on partial knowledge, my own experience in it and theory. Want to solve this?
Stop suppressing my knowledge, evidence and understanding and start digging the truth out of that "hole" my adversary dug in an attempt to hide it and which the rest of you helped him to bury.
I will now put the puzzle together for you, blow by blow, in pedantic detail, all based upon everything that has been acted out for me by the people involved. I will match my concrete experience of my adversary, his co-workers, the Homewood staff, and the community acting out with the abstract ‘’play’’ or pattern which I ‘’think’’ I seeing the concepts of M.A.'s “secret’’ training about “domination.” Hopefully, you will finally be able to comprehend the “Zen-like cuteness” as it was defined by the professor who did the analysis in the book I read in 99. If not, of course, I can just keep pounding away at the bloody obvious until you either get it or we all suck our last breath still "mystified" by It.!
Keep in mind that even though I got all my information from the acting out, not one person has ever admitted they did anything therefore, the entire event has been denied. My complaints of it have been suppressed; including concrete evidence and my perception of it has been invalidated and redefined as a serious, incurable, mental illness.
I do not consider my own case to be unusual, a mistaken diagnosis, (Whoops! The psychiatrist goofed!) or exceptional; quite the contrary. I think this pattern (She “thinks” she sees a pattern) of domination, control, denial, invalidation, and group pressure has become a sick society’s “norm.” When something becomes “normal” by group consensus and then gets validated by “experts” AS normal, it is then those who oppose the group insanity who become “abnormal.”
So here, I will discuss the thinking and behaviours of the “normal” people, form my supposedly “abnormal” perspective.
What a fantastic switch this is huh? The alternate reality of me and M.A., which has been created by the group at his direction, is the “fantasy” demonstrated in the training itself. That was the point of the exercise which showed you the difference between concrete reality and the one you fantasized in your own heads. It grew from your “opinions” solicited by M.A. for the purpose of turning the opinions of a group, based on his vague abstractions and split reality, into MY new reality constructed by the combination of group consensus and authority. That is part of the demo of his training. I will take this one little step at a time for you and name the people who co-operated with this reconstruction. After all, I recognize that if I do not explain this to all of you in excruciating detail connecting all the dots, the chances you will ever really “get it” (understand it in the abstract) rather than ‘get it” (the destructive concrete results to all who do not understand) will be very slim.
Monday, July 28, 2008
"The Game': As 'Recreated' by The Psych Nurse with the Hidden Agenda
It is two sides of the same experience. It is opposing meaning which is being expressed by the same WORDS. This is how I hear it as the targeted victim.
From the “Jewish’ side of ‘It’s’ creator, it is an accusation.
From the Nazi side of ‘It’s’ creator, it is an instruction.
Until fairly recently, the only point where the two sides were really ‘one’ was at the ‘Source’ of the ‘re-creation.’
However, now that It has been seen this way, you can get past the ‘Source’ and ‘Do Something about It.’
To be, or not to BE, really IS the question.
Will you accept ‘enlightenment’ and ‘do something’ about those whose goal is the ‘domination and control’ over others
Or
Will you continue to cross the line, identify with the aggressor, blame your victims and do something about them for complaining about It?
That is your ‘choice.’
What ‘the Source’ has done with his problems is ‘hand them to’ you. Now YOU may well become ‘the source of your own pain.’
This is what the psych nurse has recreated by choosing “it’ as the answer to his own life’s problems.
From the “Jewish’ side of ‘It’s’ creator, it is an accusation.
From the Nazi side of ‘It’s’ creator, it is an instruction.
Until fairly recently, the only point where the two sides were really ‘one’ was at the ‘Source’ of the ‘re-creation.’
However, now that It has been seen this way, you can get past the ‘Source’ and ‘Do Something about It.’
To be, or not to BE, really IS the question.
Will you accept ‘enlightenment’ and ‘do something’ about those whose goal is the ‘domination and control’ over others
Or
Will you continue to cross the line, identify with the aggressor, blame your victims and do something about them for complaining about It?
That is your ‘choice.’
What ‘the Source’ has done with his problems is ‘hand them to’ you. Now YOU may well become ‘the source of your own pain.’
This is what the psych nurse has recreated by choosing “it’ as the answer to his own life’s problems.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Applauding Virtually Anything
First posted in March 2006
If followers applaud virtually anything without judgement simply to acknowledge that someone spoke, that is leading towards giving up discernment in my opinion and meaninglessness. There is also a demonstration that other people, like the staff of Hamilton 2 and 3 and bus drivers for example, tend to make assessments about people they don’t even know, based upon vague information collected from third parties and it was noted by the psych prof. who wrote out the contents of this training that it seemed a lot like horoscopes.
The people doing the assessing there remained vague and abstract most of the time or reacted to whatever they were fed by someone else who they allowed to ‘interpret’ information FOR them. Some of the questions she said were obvious “ set ups” like when I told them at Homewood and on the tapes they listened in on that I was “being set up to look like I was insane.” In these ‘set ups” in the demonstration, the information was inside the questions themselves. It was actually being repeated back from another source wasn’t it? Like when I told people the things I was saying to dale were being repeated back to me though others so that he would know I was being talked about even though no matter what I said he would not talk directly to me. Dale fed my own word to him back to me though others. Was I to be the “stupid schizo” who was going to believe people were ‘reading my mind”? Was that because I knew how to answer Shashi Joglekar’s idiotic little test which with which he supplied Dale? Don’t tell me. Let me guess….if Dale and Shashi know how to answer the question that is because they are both geniuses. If I know exactly the same answer to the same question it must be because I’m nuts, have I got that right according to the double standard produced at the nexus of meaning? Is Dale the only official game boy in this or is it the doctor (sorry don’t know which one) rumoured by the public to have started it all? Or is that “start” still the wrong perception of “the start of the action” as it was shown to dale inside the training?
Do you think this professor got psychaitrized for seeing “set ups” like I did, or is she on the other ‘side” of the same meaning so it is presumed to be different when we see the same thing because she has a better political status than I do? Did you know that I told Dale to stop being so vague and abstract about everything and the staff on Hamilton 3 knew that and commented on it amongst themselves? Did you know that Marlene Mann was said to have complained to her neighbour John and his university student boarders that “he was vague with her and talked like that all the time”? You don’t suppose she meant dale do you? Did you know that I once told Suzanne Keating that I thought I had hear her talking about me and mentioning Dale’s name on the back porch of the neighbors which was right across from my open window? I wasn’t sure then. I though she may have said “Dave” not Dale but I feel a little more sure now that I have found out WHO all the strangers involving themselves actually are and what their connections are to each other. See why I think that SOME of these rumours are more likely to be true now than some others? It is because they fit so very nicely with the abstract form of his training. All he had to do was add his own concrete details to it when he set his concrete goal FIRST, then “played the game.”
After this part of the training, demo, some people thought that the vague assessors of others must have had e.s.p. Did you know that Dr. Furlong asked me what ‘e.s.t’ meant to me when I told him that was what was going on with Dale? That was back in 95 at the hospital. I told him what it was then. Did he believe that I believed I had e.s.p. at the direction of Dale who of course, does not believe in such things and would be SURE, certain that he knew in fact, that I was only being ‘fooled’ into believing his set up was something else. I wonder what Dale would think if he knew some people really are sensitive to information that others don’t hear? Gordon Warme says something similar about himself in one of his books; says his patients believe he has psychic ability. Perhaps or maybe they just know they have to humour someone who also says he never takes “anything” the patients say at “face value.” I am sure I would humour this guy too. I wonder if HE thinks he’s “psychic”? If so, is he nuts? Or is this another one of those double meaning and assessment things? You know; he’s brilliant and I’m crazy.
I had once heard the patients of Hamilton 2 and 3 were “making me believe that” I was “psychic.” They then acted out their undisguised disdain for me for being so stupid. I have been called stupid a lot by the employees there. Often from only a few feet away, since I’m so “stupid I wouldn’t know what they (the Homewood geniuses) were talking about anyway; or so they acted out for me. These are some of the acts I was sure MUST be a “joke” as I was directed to accept them. After all what adult human being would act like that and NOT be joking?
So how was that for group arrogance and head games huh? Of course Dr. Elliott explained to me quietly, across the street (where I was sent by Daniel) that my explanation of what Dale and the staff were doing there could not be possible as that “would be like saying that mental health professionals were playing head games with someone.” We can’t allow ourselves to know that this is possible now can we? Q.E.D: I MUST be delusional. (Otherwise, someone else might be and it might be someone politically important too and we can’t have that getting out, not OUT here, in the world of reality.) Back then I kept thinking that all of this acting out was part of some kind of joke, albeit a very bizarre one. But you know what? It wasn’t really. (except from the superior Dale’s point of view of course) The employees had decided FOR me which of all of their acting out behaviours I would be aware of and which I would not. That is part of the group delusion too. They decided that by “group consensus” just as Dale would expect them to do in am repeat performance of his training. Does the line “recreation causes disappearance” mean something more specific to you now when related to a certain a**hole’s concrete goal?
Of course, they wouldn’t ask me or even accept what I said to them about it all. Do you know why? It is because “superior” people do not need to speak directly to inferiors they are judging that’s why. One does not bother relating as equals or communicating directly with lesser beings. Instead, they reduce the human being they can’t actually see or hear as a person to the level of an object who is to accept being o the receiving end of their grandiose groupthink reductionism. Then they just react to their own fantasy. Like dancing on the top of a giant daisy in the training, an exercise designed to show them the difference between their fantasies and concrete reality. Do you get that? See the connection to the training exercises done here yet?
At this point in the official training the professor made this observation: it was like they were saying, “There’s a sucker born every minute….you can fool all of the people most of the time…” Now let me tell you who Dales’ best “suckers” are and how we all got successfully played off against each other while this “winner” observed the action, smirking with satisfaction the whole time. When the professor wrote that she also saw these smirks on the faces of the secret keepers, did she get psychiatrized after that for ‘thinking’ she saw that? (Probably not huh? Her status is also better than that of lowly delusional me)
Though I was originally fooled too, and I admit that, as the targeted victim I didn’t stay fooled. (Please don’t any of you so inclined to deny victims exist send any more e-mails telling me all about my perception problem on this OK? You see I think the perception problem is yours and you are the one “in denial.”) You see I didn’t stay fooled for a number of reasons, one of them being that I have some information on this that the rest of you, the “voyeurs in the snuff fantasy” don’t even have, but believe me, you are ALL going to get it now. I promise..
If followers applaud virtually anything without judgement simply to acknowledge that someone spoke, that is leading towards giving up discernment in my opinion and meaninglessness. There is also a demonstration that other people, like the staff of Hamilton 2 and 3 and bus drivers for example, tend to make assessments about people they don’t even know, based upon vague information collected from third parties and it was noted by the psych prof. who wrote out the contents of this training that it seemed a lot like horoscopes.
The people doing the assessing there remained vague and abstract most of the time or reacted to whatever they were fed by someone else who they allowed to ‘interpret’ information FOR them. Some of the questions she said were obvious “ set ups” like when I told them at Homewood and on the tapes they listened in on that I was “being set up to look like I was insane.” In these ‘set ups” in the demonstration, the information was inside the questions themselves. It was actually being repeated back from another source wasn’t it? Like when I told people the things I was saying to dale were being repeated back to me though others so that he would know I was being talked about even though no matter what I said he would not talk directly to me. Dale fed my own word to him back to me though others. Was I to be the “stupid schizo” who was going to believe people were ‘reading my mind”? Was that because I knew how to answer Shashi Joglekar’s idiotic little test which with which he supplied Dale? Don’t tell me. Let me guess….if Dale and Shashi know how to answer the question that is because they are both geniuses. If I know exactly the same answer to the same question it must be because I’m nuts, have I got that right according to the double standard produced at the nexus of meaning? Is Dale the only official game boy in this or is it the doctor (sorry don’t know which one) rumoured by the public to have started it all? Or is that “start” still the wrong perception of “the start of the action” as it was shown to dale inside the training?
Do you think this professor got psychaitrized for seeing “set ups” like I did, or is she on the other ‘side” of the same meaning so it is presumed to be different when we see the same thing because she has a better political status than I do? Did you know that I told Dale to stop being so vague and abstract about everything and the staff on Hamilton 3 knew that and commented on it amongst themselves? Did you know that Marlene Mann was said to have complained to her neighbour John and his university student boarders that “he was vague with her and talked like that all the time”? You don’t suppose she meant dale do you? Did you know that I once told Suzanne Keating that I thought I had hear her talking about me and mentioning Dale’s name on the back porch of the neighbors which was right across from my open window? I wasn’t sure then. I though she may have said “Dave” not Dale but I feel a little more sure now that I have found out WHO all the strangers involving themselves actually are and what their connections are to each other. See why I think that SOME of these rumours are more likely to be true now than some others? It is because they fit so very nicely with the abstract form of his training. All he had to do was add his own concrete details to it when he set his concrete goal FIRST, then “played the game.”
After this part of the training, demo, some people thought that the vague assessors of others must have had e.s.p. Did you know that Dr. Furlong asked me what ‘e.s.t’ meant to me when I told him that was what was going on with Dale? That was back in 95 at the hospital. I told him what it was then. Did he believe that I believed I had e.s.p. at the direction of Dale who of course, does not believe in such things and would be SURE, certain that he knew in fact, that I was only being ‘fooled’ into believing his set up was something else. I wonder what Dale would think if he knew some people really are sensitive to information that others don’t hear? Gordon Warme says something similar about himself in one of his books; says his patients believe he has psychic ability. Perhaps or maybe they just know they have to humour someone who also says he never takes “anything” the patients say at “face value.” I am sure I would humour this guy too. I wonder if HE thinks he’s “psychic”? If so, is he nuts? Or is this another one of those double meaning and assessment things? You know; he’s brilliant and I’m crazy.
I had once heard the patients of Hamilton 2 and 3 were “making me believe that” I was “psychic.” They then acted out their undisguised disdain for me for being so stupid. I have been called stupid a lot by the employees there. Often from only a few feet away, since I’m so “stupid I wouldn’t know what they (the Homewood geniuses) were talking about anyway; or so they acted out for me. These are some of the acts I was sure MUST be a “joke” as I was directed to accept them. After all what adult human being would act like that and NOT be joking?
So how was that for group arrogance and head games huh? Of course Dr. Elliott explained to me quietly, across the street (where I was sent by Daniel) that my explanation of what Dale and the staff were doing there could not be possible as that “would be like saying that mental health professionals were playing head games with someone.” We can’t allow ourselves to know that this is possible now can we? Q.E.D: I MUST be delusional. (Otherwise, someone else might be and it might be someone politically important too and we can’t have that getting out, not OUT here, in the world of reality.) Back then I kept thinking that all of this acting out was part of some kind of joke, albeit a very bizarre one. But you know what? It wasn’t really. (except from the superior Dale’s point of view of course) The employees had decided FOR me which of all of their acting out behaviours I would be aware of and which I would not. That is part of the group delusion too. They decided that by “group consensus” just as Dale would expect them to do in am repeat performance of his training. Does the line “recreation causes disappearance” mean something more specific to you now when related to a certain a**hole’s concrete goal?
Of course, they wouldn’t ask me or even accept what I said to them about it all. Do you know why? It is because “superior” people do not need to speak directly to inferiors they are judging that’s why. One does not bother relating as equals or communicating directly with lesser beings. Instead, they reduce the human being they can’t actually see or hear as a person to the level of an object who is to accept being o the receiving end of their grandiose groupthink reductionism. Then they just react to their own fantasy. Like dancing on the top of a giant daisy in the training, an exercise designed to show them the difference between their fantasies and concrete reality. Do you get that? See the connection to the training exercises done here yet?
At this point in the official training the professor made this observation: it was like they were saying, “There’s a sucker born every minute….you can fool all of the people most of the time…” Now let me tell you who Dales’ best “suckers” are and how we all got successfully played off against each other while this “winner” observed the action, smirking with satisfaction the whole time. When the professor wrote that she also saw these smirks on the faces of the secret keepers, did she get psychiatrized after that for ‘thinking’ she saw that? (Probably not huh? Her status is also better than that of lowly delusional me)
Though I was originally fooled too, and I admit that, as the targeted victim I didn’t stay fooled. (Please don’t any of you so inclined to deny victims exist send any more e-mails telling me all about my perception problem on this OK? You see I think the perception problem is yours and you are the one “in denial.”) You see I didn’t stay fooled for a number of reasons, one of them being that I have some information on this that the rest of you, the “voyeurs in the snuff fantasy” don’t even have, but believe me, you are ALL going to get it now. I promise..
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